Recognizing Your Worth

In four separate meetings today, I found myself pointing out to students their own worth. From their character, to their contributions to our community, to their intellectualism, to their compassion, each of these students was impressive in their own right. Yet, none of them felt comfortable acknowledging this. Some had a hard time believing it.

I get that. Few want to openly state how great they are; we pride ourselves (ironically?) on being humble. And yet, I insist that they listen. I insist that in their deepest core, the part that goes beyond the fear of acceptance/rejection, that they accept their unique contributions to our world. While others may be involved in similar activities, get similar grades, or have similar aspirations, no one else can be them. I often say, "You are the best you that exists. Own it. Be yourself. That kind of authenticity is refreshing." Easy enough for me to say when I am not putting myself on the line.

I get that, too. And so, I acknowledge that this is scary. This applying for college thing. This putting yourself out there thing. This being authentic in the face of potential rejection. It is scary. It is big. But recognizing your value and what you bring to the table is important. Authenticity is important. Speaking your truth in your own clear voice is important. So, I listen; I encourage; I insist. 

......

This seems to invite an Allegory of the Cave analogy.

The next step is to get students to embrace the reality that it is not THEM that might be rejected. It's their application. It's a file that inadequately sums up who they are. (It is a shadow in the cave.) THEY cannot be fully captured on paper. So it's this representation of them that is rejected (or accepted.) Once we can separate applications from our sense of self, we can hopefully be merely disappointed (rather than devastated) if things don't work out as we'd hoped....and we can be joyous (rather than boastful) when our applications are accepted.